I think I’ve just completed some kind of strange cycle or spiral*.
I came to Bali in 2002 a pretty naive, innocent, innocuous boy amongst mostly people older than me. I didn’t really comprehend everything that was happening. In fact, I don’t think I had a clue. I couldn’t read people, I couldn’t tell what they were thinking, feeling or what they wanted. I was armed with a very basic set of assumptions about the world, which with hindsight, were great. I was the quintessential country bumpkin with deep sense of curiosity. I absorbed what I could identify, I was excited by it all, but ironically I think I thought it was all a bit immature but I also recognised that maybe I was a tad serious and that this was part of why I was here – to let go a little bit, to be a bit more fun.
Nine years later, I feel like I have completed a loop of the spiral. I learnt to really appreciate the moment during uni and to have fun. I physically realised during honours and in getting a job at PwC that your own expectations can be limiting. I nearly didn’t. I learnt at work a bit about people, finally. Previously I thought if I treated people how I wanted to be treated that is what would happen. I thought ‘Management’ as a subject was a waste of time. Not always. Eventually I learnt a bit about girls, but it took a long time. They still astound me on a regular basis and my stupidity probably still astounds them sometimes. I learnt all through this a little about being more open minded, to love and express feelings, to thank my dad and take care of my mum. I met amazing people and I wanted to be like them.
Now, sitting in Bali again – trying to be like the amazing people I know, I feel like I might be losing touch with the open-mindedness and I may have forgotten that first lesson a little bit – How to have fun and appreciate the moment. I think this because I look around me and instead of seeing innocent, ignorant or naive (20 yo) boys who really know how to appreciate the moment, I see drunk obnoxious louts and girls who should have more sense than to like them. Most of them are Australian.
* Why does ‘Spiral’ have downward or negative connotations? A spiral could be upward or downward right? I actually meant an upward spiral – to what I’m not sure but the upwardness in my mind signifies progress. Even though I don’t believe in teh virtues of heaven, hell or the corporate ladder, up is strangely still the way to go.
3 thoughts on “Closed mindedness”
D 4 PM
Thanks mate, the post is a bit negative – I still really like Bali and my experience there again was amazing. I hope your upcoming trip to Hong Kong might be just as eventful and that the old Chinese proverb “may you live in interesting times” is equally true for you! 🙂
The innocence of youth seems to be fading with each generation coming through..
It's fantastic to see you're able to recognise you're own progress and be able to draw the circle that completes a stage of your (re)evolution.
If anything all this traveling will aid you in keeping an open mind and maintaining the flame of your curiosity. Let it burn brightly!